me

it's been almost 1 month since my last post. i have wasted myself successfully during this one month. all my resolutions of not chatting or blogging have been forgotten, instead i have spent all my time reading other's blogs, and posting stupid comments. all in bangla, because i really like the way the bengali fonts show up when i type. they are bigger and brighter, and beautiful as well. i have done absolutely no work on my dissertation. and the workload is getting worse as pending deliveries are piling up every week. all because of trying to keep my mind off a certain thing. but does it help? no, it doesn't. but i think i'm stronger than the person i was 5 years back, and also the situation is quite different this time. that is the only hope i've got.

i should stop blogging in bangla. it's not like i'm writing anything useful there anyways. just daily logs, which i can keep here, with the safety of privacy. i really need to finish this dissertation, i can't believe i have dragged it till now. but that's me. procrastination is my motto of life. i have all the materials required, i keep collecting everything i can get my hands on regarding the chittagong hill tracts. so i think i have enough resource now. i just need to sit down, concentrate and write. once i finish it, i'm free! i can look for other jobs, hopefully outside dhaka, i really need to get away from this place. i can read whatever i want to! and what a comfort that's gonna be! i have bought so many books from the boimela, but i can't read any of them. cause whenever i open a book, i feel like i shouldn't start reading it, as all i should be reading now is my thesis stuff...so i put the book down and start blogging instead! ok, problem identified. blogging. i should stop it. it's not like hanging out with people and chatting with newly acquired blog-friends are helping me get over my frustrations. so i am not gonna miss it. i am gonna try to be productive and all that crap. and it starts from today. after i come back from boimela, that is.