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it's been a long time since i've last logged in to this blog. i feel kind of guilty about it. i started writing in a bangla blog for a while, but it was not quite the same as writing here. only a couple of friends care to come to this blog of mine, compared to this, that bangla blog made me feel exposed. it feels good sometimes, being exposed. but not all the time. i was missing the quietness and secret hideaway-like comfort this poor overlooked blog of mine provides me, and so i'm back .. i'm sure if this blog was a living object it would throw a tantrum, or at least sulk for a while. or may be it is sulking, it's just that i don't understand blog lingo.

my life needs serious attention. and when i say attention i mean attention. from me. i am whiling away the hours like i have all the time in the world. but i don't have all the time in the world. i have a thesis to write, and a job to concentrate and a million of applications to send. but all i do all day is watch movies, go out to eat, play farmville and sleep 12 hours a day. this is not going anywhere. i know i am not keen on taking my life anywhere particular, but i hate to be stuck somewhere. and not getting stuck somewhere needs some hard work. too bad i know, but it can't be helped.

so i need a plan of action. what could that be? i have to write that thesis, i have wasted one year 'pretending' to write it, but the fact is, i'm nowhere near starting it even. the main problem i'm facing is concentrating. which can be helped by deactivating my facebook account may be? sure i could live without facebook, i lived 27 years of my life without it, didn't i? that would save a lot of my time. ok that being settled, i need to sit for an ielts exam. the authorities think your english language skill deteriorates after a while, so the english test comes with an expiry date. according to them, my 'skills' are expired, so i need to go and take the same goddamn test again which is going to cost me a fair amount of money. education, like every other thing, is a business after all.

i have another plan, teaching in a local school for a few months or so. just to get some idea how shitty our 'bangla medium' education is compared to the 'english medium' ones. so i need to visit some of these schools too, to see if they'll accept me as a teacher.

loads of plans. like always i am the queen of plans, full of possibilities, culminating into...nada!