back again! this time for real, time to bring this blog to life. i was reading through the past few posts, and decided 'the break-up chronicles' are the most pathetic blogs ever written in the history of web log...and i've deleted them. goodness, was i so pathetic? unbelievable!
update 1: i have no job. for 6 months now. and all my money's gone, i'm all broke, kind of worried about next month's rent. yeah, it's that bad! but i'm keeping myself calm. i won't deny that i was feeling restless and a bit hopeless a few days ago, but somehow i got hold of my 'zen state' again..not fully though, but i think i'm going to get back to that state again soon. happiness!
update 2: i have started learning guitar! i tried to blow on a flute for a few days, producing only a very very airy (forceful) 'fffffuuuu' sound, then decided guitar is a much easier option. i'm practising almost daily, soon i'll play with roger waters in a gig, you just wait!
update 3: i'm reading books! with no work to do, and the initial frenzy of a new relationship settling into a peaceful companionship (too soon, but we are getting old, unfortunately. or fortunately, who knows!), i can read a book without losing concentration for hours! i can't remember when was the last time i was able to do that, may be back in campus?
update 4: two of my favorite things were broken last night. one was a pinwheel i very carefully brought from my china trip a couple of years ago. another was a capiz garland a friend of mine brought for me from singapore. both i kept near me, the pinwheel spinning continuously with the air from the ceiling fan, the capizes constantly making tingling sounds against the wall. both are damaged, by somebody else's carelessness. the pinwheel is repairable (i think), but the capizes are beyond repair. i can even feel how they were smashed to death, each of of them, with cracks all over their beautiful rough,shiny surfaces... only a couple of days ago i tossed them around just to hear them tingle away happily. my heart broke. but i'm in a zen state, and i am learning to let go. the first thing to learn is not to create any kind of attachment with anything. the moment you give meaning to something, add memories to simple things, you are doomed. well it's not exactly very zen :|...but it works. i guess.
update 1: i have no job. for 6 months now. and all my money's gone, i'm all broke, kind of worried about next month's rent. yeah, it's that bad! but i'm keeping myself calm. i won't deny that i was feeling restless and a bit hopeless a few days ago, but somehow i got hold of my 'zen state' again..not fully though, but i think i'm going to get back to that state again soon. happiness!
update 2: i have started learning guitar! i tried to blow on a flute for a few days, producing only a very very airy (forceful) 'fffffuuuu' sound, then decided guitar is a much easier option. i'm practising almost daily, soon i'll play with roger waters in a gig, you just wait!
update 3: i'm reading books! with no work to do, and the initial frenzy of a new relationship settling into a peaceful companionship (too soon, but we are getting old, unfortunately. or fortunately, who knows!), i can read a book without losing concentration for hours! i can't remember when was the last time i was able to do that, may be back in campus?
update 4: two of my favorite things were broken last night. one was a pinwheel i very carefully brought from my china trip a couple of years ago. another was a capiz garland a friend of mine brought for me from singapore. both i kept near me, the pinwheel spinning continuously with the air from the ceiling fan, the capizes constantly making tingling sounds against the wall. both are damaged, by somebody else's carelessness. the pinwheel is repairable (i think), but the capizes are beyond repair. i can even feel how they were smashed to death, each of of them, with cracks all over their beautiful rough,shiny surfaces... only a couple of days ago i tossed them around just to hear them tingle away happily. my heart broke. but i'm in a zen state, and i am learning to let go. the first thing to learn is not to create any kind of attachment with anything. the moment you give meaning to something, add memories to simple things, you are doomed. well it's not exactly very zen :|...but it works. i guess.
