3 more days to go. i'll be back again in my sweet, lovely, polluted, crowded, noisy, dirty, dangerous dhaka. in fact, i kind of miss the pollution. too pure makes me sick. though i've been as messy as i can, which is a bit difficult with all the colleagues trying to teach me civil manners, i'm trying hard to be as myself as possible. i wont be mannered, i wont be disciplined. i left my family to be myself for gods sake!
i dont know what im so angry about. every little thing is getting on my nerves. i just want to go home and sleep in my bed for around 10 hours or so, then i'll be ok i guess. may be im just homesick. or only boyfriend-sick may be? who knows.
its 12 here, when i look outside it feels like its only 6 in the evening. the best part of having the sun shining all the way till 9 is you have loads of time in your hands. which is good, as almost everything is open till 9 here, you can hang around, take a walk, go to the islands, or the beach, or to any park..gosh they have so many parks here! well, they had nothing else to do with this vast mass of lands perhaps. the day before yesterday the office took us to some place called klobberhaugen, which is a log cabin in the forests up the mountains. there was a small lake too, with a little jetty, standing on the jetty gives you some kind of an endless feeling, water all around you, little waves rippling away, far at the other side of the lake the mountain goes up covered in pine trees...gives you a feeling of paradise. i stood there for sometime in the evening when we reached there...well, it was dark, so i guess it was not exactly evening, around 12 am may be. the water was pitch black in that semi-dark light, the mountain with the trees silouhetted against the ashening sky, well, it was almost like a dream. well, i know im being a bit romantic, but hell, it was so damn romantic! how can i help it?!
the next day after breakfast i found the lovebirds lost somewhere..so i went to the jetty again and sat down for sometime by myself. they went to take a walk around the lake, i found out later. i was glad i didnt go with them, i needed sometime alone i think. sitting by the water watching the tiny little waves pass by, well, its my favourite passtime anyways. but somehow, it makes me feel terribly lonely. i went around with a terribly bad mood yesterday. i dont feel comfy hanging out alone, well, sometimes its fun, but all the time...nope! even though im always left behind because i walk so slowly, still, i like to hang out with people, people i know. i've been with these two colleagues of mine since i arrived here, wherever they went, i followed. but now i feel like an intruder between them. most probably they dont even think about it, but it somehow gives me the feeling that im disturbing them or something like that. and anyways, silent love is something that i cant take. it may be sweet and all for those who experience it, but it kind of freaks me out. really!
so i think i'll be left to myself these 3 days that im here. well, its only three days after all.
i dont know what im so angry about. every little thing is getting on my nerves. i just want to go home and sleep in my bed for around 10 hours or so, then i'll be ok i guess. may be im just homesick. or only boyfriend-sick may be? who knows.
its 12 here, when i look outside it feels like its only 6 in the evening. the best part of having the sun shining all the way till 9 is you have loads of time in your hands. which is good, as almost everything is open till 9 here, you can hang around, take a walk, go to the islands, or the beach, or to any park..gosh they have so many parks here! well, they had nothing else to do with this vast mass of lands perhaps. the day before yesterday the office took us to some place called klobberhaugen, which is a log cabin in the forests up the mountains. there was a small lake too, with a little jetty, standing on the jetty gives you some kind of an endless feeling, water all around you, little waves rippling away, far at the other side of the lake the mountain goes up covered in pine trees...gives you a feeling of paradise. i stood there for sometime in the evening when we reached there...well, it was dark, so i guess it was not exactly evening, around 12 am may be. the water was pitch black in that semi-dark light, the mountain with the trees silouhetted against the ashening sky, well, it was almost like a dream. well, i know im being a bit romantic, but hell, it was so damn romantic! how can i help it?!
the next day after breakfast i found the lovebirds lost somewhere..so i went to the jetty again and sat down for sometime by myself. they went to take a walk around the lake, i found out later. i was glad i didnt go with them, i needed sometime alone i think. sitting by the water watching the tiny little waves pass by, well, its my favourite passtime anyways. but somehow, it makes me feel terribly lonely. i went around with a terribly bad mood yesterday. i dont feel comfy hanging out alone, well, sometimes its fun, but all the time...nope! even though im always left behind because i walk so slowly, still, i like to hang out with people, people i know. i've been with these two colleagues of mine since i arrived here, wherever they went, i followed. but now i feel like an intruder between them. most probably they dont even think about it, but it somehow gives me the feeling that im disturbing them or something like that. and anyways, silent love is something that i cant take. it may be sweet and all for those who experience it, but it kind of freaks me out. really!
so i think i'll be left to myself these 3 days that im here. well, its only three days after all.
1 comment:
lovebirds?? that's not an appropriate word.... silent love is terrible... wish there hadn't been anything like this anywhere
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