i hate my job. who wants to come back from lunch with stomach full of beef and browse through news like 'wife who murdered and cooked husband on thanksgiving denied parole' when what she actually wants to find is 'man shoots wife with an illegal gun, goes out and loots a firearm shop, then goes into a shooting spree on the street and commits suicide afterwards. p.s. all of them with illegal guns'. god. i've been doing this for too long now. i mean, i am coming to doubt about my ability to do anything else. all i'm good at is tracking down news of shooting deaths which involve illegal guns. well, even a kindergartener can do this. i had high hopes of myself. like becoming a very good researcher, with an excellent academic record, working as an aid worker, saving the world bla bla. it's all down the drain. i'm the most dumbest person i know. i am no good at writing, so bye bye academics. and if you're not in academics, you can say goodbye to the dream of becoming a researcher too. and as for an aid worker, well, it requires experience, and guess what experience i've gathered after 4 years of work. collecting news from the internet. wait, what do you say? yes, i agree. even a child who knows how to read english can do that.
bad day today. i accidentally scraped some skin off my gum with my fingernail. i am not gonna describe how it happened exactly because i think nobody needs to know that. but it hurts like hell. i think i'm going to have to deal with it for weeks. calcium, that's what i need right now!
a couple of days ago 3 people died, who were very close to somebody i care about. i still haven't had the courage to face her, even after some morale boost up from sharmee. i'm not only a complete nincompoop, but also a coward. somebody once said i'm not a fighter, i only pretend to be a fighter. he was right. i run away from problems. and anything that i'm afraid to confront with. i would've been a disgrace if my country was at war with india or myanmar or japan or the usa right now. then again, i'm not that big a nationalist. god, i wish this insignificant, pitiful life was over with already.
bad day today. i accidentally scraped some skin off my gum with my fingernail. i am not gonna describe how it happened exactly because i think nobody needs to know that. but it hurts like hell. i think i'm going to have to deal with it for weeks. calcium, that's what i need right now!
a couple of days ago 3 people died, who were very close to somebody i care about. i still haven't had the courage to face her, even after some morale boost up from sharmee. i'm not only a complete nincompoop, but also a coward. somebody once said i'm not a fighter, i only pretend to be a fighter. he was right. i run away from problems. and anything that i'm afraid to confront with. i would've been a disgrace if my country was at war with india or myanmar or japan or the usa right now. then again, i'm not that big a nationalist. god, i wish this insignificant, pitiful life was over with already.
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