when you're certain that you don't have anything beautiful or even nice to look forward to, from this point on everything in your life will be just the same as it is now...cold, dark, empty, would you care to drag this dead life further? even the saddest man i know is more optimistic than me. i don't know what's wrong with me. am i the most fucked up person in this whole world? so fucked up that i can't dream anymore, dreams feel like they belong to a fenced off territory these days. when i dream, somehow i have the feeling that i'm trespassing. it wasn't like that even a few days ago. it's just when it dawned on me that i'm the most fucked up person i know, i realized that this life is over. my soul is dead, if there was any soul inside me, that is.
i wonder how many people would stay inside just to see if this is the end of his or her shitty existence when that damn earthquake happens.
2 comments:
sounds like you're submitting. are you really facing the end? or is it just a short letdown period you'll get over soon? curious.
Some people drift through their entire life. They do it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. It happens so gradually they are unaware of how their lives are slipping away until it's too late.
---Mary Kay Ash
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