[dramatic?] monologue!

didn't come here for a while. didn't know what to write. i've been wondering lately about the reason why im keeping this blog. it doesn't feel like a diary, where i can write whatever i want, bitch about anyone and everyone, write down all my frustrations and anger, all my deepest secrets...which nobody will be able to see. but here, i have to pretend sometimes, which makes me feel bad. or does it? don't i pretend anyways? don't i put in a mask like everybody else in real life and also when encountering myself? i do. but the problem is, i'm not very good at it. sometimes i plan to throw the mask away...and live a free life...live my life! but i have lived with this mask for so long it won't let go. it sticks to me...my very self...and pretends to be the real me! yes, my mask is a sly pretender...pretending to be me...and i just can't pull it off anymore.