one of the bad things about living alone is feeling like crying at the slightest opportunity. so i try to avoid any sad/nostalgic/mellow/depressing books/blogs/movies/songs with all my might. but somehow or other one sneaky incredibly wretched blog/song/movie creeps up into your eyes/ears and there you are, crying your hearts out. and when you start to cry, you are not just crying about the memory that was stirred by the writeup/song...you cry for all the misfortunes that has happened in your life. you go through all the things that has happened to you from time immemorial...and you feed on the misery that your life has bestowed upon you, from time immemorial. and when you are done with that, you ponder upon how you have spent the last one week doing absolutely nothing whiling away the time browsing the internet, and you cry a little more. when that's over you think about how you practically haven't eaten anything from the day before yesterday except munching on some cornflakes this morning just because you didn't feel like moving your lazy ass to cook something, and you shed tears over that too. and you were supposed to clean the room this weekend that ended yesterday. and you were supposed to do the groceries. and you cancelled the meeting with your teacher today. and you don't know what to do about those essays. and you feel like shit. and your future looks so grim. and you are so alone. and nobody loves you. every little thing that somehow or other concerns 'me' is a cause for a celebration of crying! my god, how pathetic can i get!

well, anyways, writing a blog always helps. the crying's finally over. the way it was going on, by now i would have been picturing my life 40 years later and crying over that too. better go sleep now.