is there anything in this world that im capable of? i cant be a good friend, i cant be a good partner, i cant be a good daughter, or sister, or anything that my mind can think of. and what makes it worse, i try to justify all my incapabilities all the time. may be thats why i cant make people stay with me for long. i bug them, try to draw sympathy from them, try to find a scapegoat all the time to show them somebody or something else is to blame, till people get pissed off and give me the 'i dont give a fuck' attitude. well, i deserve it. im such a miserable asshole. whats the use of a miserable and pathetic person to live, who doesnt have the capability to do anything other than complaining all the time? god, i hate myself so much...i wish i could kill myself...thinking about that gives me kind of a sadistic satisfaction,,,but no, im not capable of doing that also!
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well... when i compare myself to u... i feel da same way.... nd justification ... i wish i could get rid of this.... justifying my deeds every single moment!! i donno why frm our childhood... we all r told to be good guys... i mean we r told that we need to be gud in sumthin... why? why do we really need to be gud in sumthing? i mean... in nething.... in relatioships...or studies or in works? well... i do try to be so sumtimes... cz this trying is somehow in built... nd still it tires me.... i donno whether i am thinking in line with u... but life sucks.... nd life is sooooooo meaningless..... so very much meaningless.
whats wrong with justifying your incapabilities? everyone in the world do so. why punish yourself?
atleast you are capable of being incapable :p
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