psycho-pathetic!

am i a psychopath? i donno...but sometimes i do think like a psychopath i guess. we (me and vashkar) were on the way back home yesterday night, i was feeling a little insecured...most probably because the taxi driver made a call to someone just after we got in...and my mind went wild wondering what-not that could happen to us...i imagined some guy forcefully getting in the car, taking everything from us, and throwing us into the road afterwards! well, i could be relieved if my weird cranky mind stopped just there,,,but hell no! then i went on imagining vashkar being driven over by a bus,,,me seconds away from another...seeing and hearing his bones crack...all bloody and messy and realizing the same fate is waiting for me...god!..i was almost near tears then..thinking about our lives ending in that way...thinking how lonely and terribly unbearable life would be if i get to live now that vashkar has died such a horrible death...thinking how i wont be able to forget this moment ever in my life...to see vashkar like this...dying before my eyes...bathed in his own blood..

and then when my eyes are starting to get wet because of my hypothetical misery...i come back to this earth...yes, vashkar is safe beside me...holding my hands...looking out of the window watching the rain. i grab his hands tighter and thank allah-god-myself-mycrankyimagination-mycrookedmind-orwhatsoever that he's safe. morbidity at it's best, i call it!

i think im on the verge of a nervous breakdown.