gone

my wallet got stolen last night. that is not the most interesting thing that happened yesterday though. what was more interesting is what i felt afterward. i had a few 500 tk notes in it, my bank card and some old tickets and receipts i kept just for the sake of memories. all are gone along with the wallet that sharmee gave me. i had reasons to feel bad. but i didn't feel bad. the first thing that occurred in my mind was the hope, the hope of recovering from this terrible sadness that i'm living with these days because of my stupid 'prem'. this is happening quite often, something unusual happens and i think, yes, this will make me forget all the pain. but it never does. and the fact that it never does makes me more sad. how sad is that?

so i will be keeping my money all crumpled in the small pocket of my bag from now on. somebody once was amused at how all my notes stay perfectly straight. i wish i could show him my wrinkled notes now. i guess he wouldn't care. and even if he would, i don't think i'll ever see him again. what a pity!