right now reading 'sleep' by murakami. it's about a woman who can't sleep. but she is not fatigued, not sleeping has somehow made her more energetic and 'young-looking', quite the opposite effect of not having sleep. basically it's about how mechanical (in fact, the character does say that she feels like a 'machine') life can be for a housewife belonging to a well-to-do nucleur family. a story about boredom! the way murakami dealt with this boring plot....i think he's a magician!

anyways, i envy this woman. i want to lose sleep, and not feel the least fatigued. i could get so much work done that way!

i'm smoking too much. i was thinking, if i have cancer now, what's gonna happen? i don't have any family and i don't expect much from my friends. and anyways, cancer is cancer. i have no intention of going through endless chemotherapy and medication just to be alive. i wish i could afford that thing in switzerland where they help you commit suicide. (haha, that sounds so weird!). well, it is legal there, committing suicide if you don't want to live. i guess you have got to have a proper reason for it. i read about it once. they will give you something to drink, it'll taste nice, not the kind of thing that will make you twitch your face like they show in the movies. and then after 15 minutes or so, you'll die, peacefully! ah, the thought of a peaceful death brings a smile to my face. but i can't afford it. it costs a lot (around 5000 euros!). what kind of a world do we live in? you want to die peacefully? PAY for it! goddamn corporates!

got to see meherjaan. apparently it has disregarded the 'emotions' of the bangali people. we are a very emotional nation. from the sound and look of it, it seems like a hell of a boring movie. but i have to see it now as my head is bursting with so much information about the yet unseen movie, and mostly because so many people are joining forces to ban the movie (yes, they are talking about 'banning' it!). planning to watch it this weekend.

i have successfully managed to keep away from facebook, blogs etc. well, i didn't exactly 'keep away' from all these, i followed the meherjaan reviews because i couldn't help my curiosity (shame shame!). but well, i didn't participate in anything from that day..although the desire to comment on some absolutely outrageous views (that the blogs and facebook are full of right now) was overwhelming, but i restrained myself..kept myself calm and cool, like a monk from tibet! ...that's progress! and i went to the university and got permission to use the department's library! and i have the theoretical framework for my thesis now! my, that's HUGE progress! although i didn't do anything except this. but this is huge. and huge demands some rest. so i will count the non-productive day (which is today) as rest. tomorrow i'll be back in action. :)